NEW YEAR

Morning peeps ! Wish you guys hv great time for past year 2012..It's been couple month i didn't wrote,quite busy for a moment plus wanna take a peace moment for a while..I always try to figure out what happen with my life.I enter new year 2013 with a loss..I lost my friend,I lost my Love,my 3 year relationship,again i almost lost my job..But,thanx to ALLAH,i never lose to His Faith...

I miss everything,my colleuge,my buddy,my bestfriend,my dad,my comic,etc...Everything...at this moment,i really miss "Laut",being as student Biology Marine,really though me of my life,i learned a lot of thing,lesson to my life,especially the meaning of education,the important of Education,the meaning of Friendship and the meaning of Love...

A lot of thing happen in December 2012,i feel so down,really give up with my life.They see me as lady who had everything,i got job,i got friend,i got love,i got family,i got everything.But,the true it's not,it wasn't like that.Life wasn't like,why give me lesson of life,which i don't intend to learn it...But,whatever happen,life must goes on,rite..

Enough with English ;)

Saya tak tahu apa yg berlaku dgn BF saya tu,dia yg beria-ria nak jumpa family,then bila dah dibawa,selepas seminggu,tibe2 lesap,hilang tanpa khabar berita,call tak angkat,sms tak balas,dan selepas beberapa bulan,selepas 100 + call dan 50 + sms,hanya 2 miscall dan satu sms sahaja yg dihantar,minta jaga diri dan sentiasa mencintai kamu,maaf saya perlukan masa..

I said "What ?" ..and it's over just like that,I feel sad,but more to perasaan kecewa sebenarnya...Terlalu banyak yg saya korbankan untuk dia,mcm2 saya tolong dia,bukan mengungkit,tapi sedih bila saya utamakan dia dari family saya sendiri,dan ini yg saya dapat,"I need space"...owh,shhiitt...memang saya tak terlalu mengharap sangat,cuma agak terasa dengan sikap dia tu..

Dalam masa yg sama,sepanjang menunggu kekasih hati untuk kembali,pelbagai lelaki yg hantar pm,sms,call..macam tahu2 jer yg saya "in complicated",tapi disebabkan ego yg tinggi kerana nak tunggu juga BF saya tu,saya ignore semua sms,call,pm tu..cube untuk setia...tapi entah kenapa yg seorang ni,i call him as V-Soy,tetap hantar pm walaupun saya cakap saya dah berpunya,tetap call,semata-mata nak wish gud nyte,sehingga la tibe2 dia cakap " i dah move on,da ada GF"...tetibe2 jer mamat nie,pe kes...

Then,i decide,untuk move on,don't wait for a person who doesn't care for you..and V-Soy is missing..all of them is missing..pastu dapat lak invitation wedding dari A,nak kahwin kata nya..oh my,another drama..i don't know why,but somehow i feel hurt when hear u,A getting married..
tapi kenapa kamu,A perlu hantar sms cakap suka pada saya,perlu ke nak cancel wedding kamu,oh damn you,don't be to idiot dude !

Saya baru sedar yg saya rindu kan V-Soy,lebih rindu V-Soy dari saya rindu BF saya,or lagi tepat Ex-BF..V-Soy,his there when i was crying,instead of my BF yg hilang entah kemana..tapi dia cakap dia dah move on kan..kalo tak,confirm dia akan sms or call..entah kenapa,bila saya bercakap dengan dia,saya rasa dia tu my reflection,more to my Karma...what goes around,come around...mungkin on the past,saya pernah keciwa kan lelaki yg dipanggil scandal,tapi sekarang saya rasa dikeciwa kan oleh dia..

urm..V-Soy..sebab terlalu rindu sgt,terus stalker FB dia,then ternampak a girl tulis kat wall dia "Hey,Single Boy "..dalam hati single ? kata da ada GF..terus pm dia..dan malam tu he make confess,
"
You ingat i nie apa,sesuka hati nak main kan perasaan orang,bukan macam you,nak jadi scandal,memang la i intersted dgn u,tapi u dah ada BF kan,nak i buat apa lagi,da puas nak sakit kan hati i"..terus speechless dibuatnye,x tau nak cakap macam mana.."i was attached before,actually masa kite start kenal,it was complicated relationship,my BF da lama x contact i,tapi i yg masih tunggu dia,i xde nak tipu u,i terus terang ok,dan you tu tibe2 cakap da move on,da ada GF..tapi kat wall tulis single,apa kes,sapa yg menipu sekarang..and u tu tibe2 hilang,x reply msg i pun.."hey budak giler,jgn ckp mcm tu boleh tak,ok to be true..memang i single..and i mmg x reply ur sms,but doesn't mean your forgetten because i akan sentiasa stalker FB u,every single day in my life i akan baca semua status you,i akan tgk semua photo you,cuma i tak berani nak comment or like the photo...and i simpan gamba u dalam hp i.."tibe-tibe dia senyap...continue,"i bukan jenis yg terus give up..cuma i'm exhausting..seeing u with other,somehow i feel hurt...you can do whatever you want...You suka i ker..." 

Dan esok nyer,same girl tulis kat wall V-Soy.."Hi.my Boyfriend,how are  you today"..Sapa yg bersalah,saya ke telah menaruh harapan pada V-Soy,atau V-Soy jenis yg main kan perasaan orang atau dat girl juga salah seorang scandal dia..I don't know..in the middle...terus plan nak jumpa V-Soy,automatic hantar pm cancel...Deppressing...and what is so idiot i don't know his full name...hanya tahu nama FB...A.S.N....i try to move on,head up and fake smile..but the true i really miss V-soy...esoknya,nampak dia tulis

" if Happy Ever After did exist,i wish to be holding you like this,

but all those fairy tale are full of shit "

(Payphone,Maroon 5)

He just like me,if something happen,always took lyric as quotes,same like before..when i said i was attached,he update..

"Everything that i want,i want from you.

But i just can't have you"

(Stray Heart,Green Day)

 

 

I dont what going to happen next,for this moment,i will take it slow ,last time i talk about him before he going to Island,i said i definetly goin to miss him,what is so funny,i don't know your name,Oh love..He update "Will coming back to you one day ",i reply "tc,hv safe journey dude"..Thank you fellas"...

 

And now we are on own way...i'm happy if your happy,but now..my heart been locked,and i lost the key,ain't nobody can comfort me...moral of the story..yg dikejar tak dapat,yg dikendong berciciran..now,i'm stop my track,i havent meet you yet ...

 

 

 

It's complicated

It's been a week,but still there..inside my head,still remember those words...
It's hard to figure it out,what the hell is goin on,who should trust or who should blame,i'm in the middle,it's that my fault ? why ? i didn't mean to hurt you by this way,it mean nothing,for your information,it just my point of view,but now,in this time i'm just the black sheep....

But,she said be strong...

JUST KEEP MOVING FORWARD,

DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT OTHER SAID OR THINK,

DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO !

 

That was her advice to me,so sweet,thanx GOSSIP GIRL !

 

I though,i can do it,but it still pain inside,and my buddy came up and he said to me ...

 

 

WHEN I'M SAD,I STOP BEING SAD INSTEAD BEING AWESOME.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED !

 

 

That Quote was from Barney Stinson,How I Meet Your Mother,it maybe lousy,but those word keep motivation me,and just like Barney do,I take the Challenge,dude ! Oh ya since you call me BITCH,so let me tell you what exactly the meaning of BITCH,hooker !

 









 

B-Beauty

I-Inteligent

T-Trustworthy

C-Courageous

H-Happy

 

p/s : yup,maybe i was thin,but i wasn't anorexia,at least i got shape,compare to you FLAT ! oh ya,after this maybe you can tell all of your Double H or watever la that i were update my blog =)

 

One more thing,i love this word,took it from someone i know,

 

 

TAKE A CHANCES,MAKE MISTAKES.

THAT'S YOU GROWTH.

PAIN NOURISHES YOUR COURAGE.

YOU HAVE TO FAIL IN ORDER TO PRACTICE BEING BRAVE.

 

 

He call me,he heard me crying..he said what's wrong..it's middle 3 am,why are u crying..He comfort me,and told me that "doa org yg dianiya nie,dimakbulkan ALLAH,insyaALLAH,just be strong ok,xmo nangis da,x comel da,heee ;)

 

Yup,deep inside my heart,it's hard but i have to move on,head up and step forward,thanx for those who comforting me,and back me up.

 

p/s:my boy said :this was your second time you tell me about this shit,why he always make a problem,apa yg dia and his wife yg x puas hati sgt tu,giler apa,dia x sedar kot apa yg dia buat tu,kurang ajar sgt panggil org bitch,iblis sume tu,dia tu baik sangat ker,takpe ni kali kedua,masuk kali ketiga,memang siap la,sume da ada nie,dia "touch" sikit jer,silap aribulan,duk dalam wad la jawab nyer,bukan setakat dia,1 geng tu kena,sume info aku da ada,da siap pasang org follow kau,haiishhh,bengang aku,bini aku kena kacau,tu la ayang,baik sangat,hingga orang amek advantange,kan da kena,ada jer yang tak puas hati...



 

 





BILE HATI BERBICARA …

ORANG-ORANG TUA SELALU TANYA SOALAN CEPU-CEMAS KEPADA SI BUJANG,CONTOH NYER,DAH DAPAT KERJA BAGUS ?KENAPA BADAN NIE GEMUK SANGAT OR KURUS SANGAT,PALING TAK KURANG PUN,BILA NAK KAHWIN,TAK DE ORANG MASUK PINANG KER?

FOR ME,IS TOTALLY ANNOYING,TERAMAT SANGAT !!! SEBAB TU LA SAYA SELALU PESAN KEPADA IBU SAYA JANGAN TANYA SOALAN2 SEPERI ITU ATAU SEANGKATAN DENGAN NYA PADA SI BUJANG SEBAB,BAGI SAYA “APA  MAKSUD DENGAN KERJA BAGUS ? KENAPA DENGAN BENTUK BADAN YG GEMUK OR KURUS ITU?OR BILA NAK KAHWIN ? SEMUA ITU BUKAN UKURAN UNTUK MASUK KE SYURGA,APA KES TIBE-TIBE EMO PULA,ADUHHH…

ACTUALLY,SEKARANG NI BARU SAYA SEDAR SUDAH PUN BULAN OKTOBER,LAGI DUA BULAN DAH MASUK TAHUN BARU 2013,SO ADAKAH AZAM TAHUN 2012 SAYA TERCAPAI ?OR MASIH SEMPAT KER UNTUK MENCAPAI NYER..SILA REVIEW BALIK….ERKHHH..UURMMM..HMMMM..MMMM…SECARA JUJUR NYER LA KAN,I WAS ON THE TRACK,BUT STILL FAR TO THE FINISH LINE,AIIYYOOKKK  >.<

MAYBE BECAUSE ONE OF THE REASON I WAS TEMPORARY STAFF,YET,AND THAT’S WHY I CANT BUY A CAR,THEN BRING FAMILY FOR HOLIDAY ??? URM..MAYBE POSTPONE NEXT YEAR,WITH THE HELP FROM MY BF FOR DRIVE AND LITTLE BIT OF FINANCIAL SUPPORT FROM HIM,I THINK,HEHE..

RECENTLY,I HAVE BEEN DISCUSS WITH MY BOY ABOUT THE FUTURE..BLAH..BLAH…BLAH…IT STILL EARLY TO DECIDE WHEN,WHICH,WHERE,WHO AND HOW…BUT FOR THE PLANNING,INSYALLAH,NEXT YEAR MAYBE “THE YEAR” OR MORE ACCURATELY,LAST YEAR AS BACHELLORETE ;)

SEBAB I DA PROMISE DENGAN DIA,SO I HAVE TO KEEP THE PROMISE,RIGHT.ORANG LAIN SELALU CAKAP,ALA LAMBAT LAGI,LAGI SETAHUN TU,BUT,AFTER I MADE MY OWN RESEARCH,I TAKE ONE YEAR TO COMPLETE THE WEDDING,STEP BY STEP..BECAUSE UNTUK MENDAPAT KAN MUKA AND KULIT YG CANTIK,SEKURANG-KURANG NYER 6 BULAN ,UNTUK MENDAPAT KAN BODY YG CANTIK LAK,LEBIH KURANG 8 BULAN,BARU NAMPAK HASIL NYER,BELUM LAGI UNTUK TEMPAH DEWAN,KENA BOOKING DULU,AT LEAST 6 BULAN SEBELUM TU,IN CASE DA PENUH,DA PENING KEPALA,

ANYHOW I FEEL FREAK OUT!!!

ANYWAY,I WANT MY WEEDING IS SIMPLE,VINTAGE AND OF COURSE ECO-FRIENDLY,ANT I WANNA BE  WEDDING PLANNER ON MY OWN WEEDING,SAVING RIGHT,HEHE ;)

ALLRIGHT, THIS IS LITTLE BIT “CORETAN” OF MY HEART FEELING ABOUT THE WEEDING,MY MUM ALWAYS ASK ME,APA LA YG ADA PADA SYED TU,IBU TENGOK DIA XDE LA KAYA PUN,NAK KATA HANDSOME PUN TAK JUGA,GIGI BERTERABUR JER,ENTAH SOLAT ENTAK TAK DIA TU..DALAM HATI CAKAP,”HE WAS BAD BOY, THAT’S WHY I LIKE!!!”